I’m calling this my Summer of Self-Care, not because I had a lot of time to dedicate to self-care, but because I launched my new eBook,Resilience Over Burnout: A Self-Care Guide for Music Therapists. Designed specifically for music therapy professionals, interns, and students, this eBook addresses burnout in the music therapy profession and self-care practices to support clinical effectiveness, career success, and personal fulfillment.
Because of the time and energy this took, I needed self-care more than ever.
This eBook took years to research, conceptualize, develop, design, create, test, and revise. It took heart, soul, and passion to create, and I was fueled by the desire to support my colleagues by creating something that was needed and did not yet exist. Working on this project, on top of maintaining my clinical work, was a challenge, and I could have easily burned myself out. Writing can be tiring and stressful. So can creating videos and being in front of a camera. But overworking myself was not an option because of the nature of the subject. I couldn’t possibly let myself get too stressed because I was immersed in the subject of self-care and was constantly reminded of its necessity.
Here are three lessons I learned about self-care during my summer of self-care:
1. Hard work and self-care can co-exist.
You don’t have to choose between working hard or caring for yourself. You can do both at the same time. In discussions on self-care, sometimes it seems like caring for yourself and working are things that happen separately. However, it is important to keep in mind that self-care can be practiced while you are working. And, the harder you are working the more important it is to make sure this is happening. So as work increases, self-care does too.
Working on my eBook meant long hours at my computer and decreased leisure time. I practiced this idea of simultaneous hard work and self-care by staying hydrated, taking breaks to stretch, diffusing essential oils while I worked, drinking lots of green smoothies, and eating healthy food to support my brain’s ability to function for long periods of time. I also bought a new chair which tremendously helped my posture and physical comfort. Even though I had less time for leisure, I made exercise a priority and kept variety in my physical activity to keep my energy levels up. Setting deadlines for myself and launch dates for my projects were also important to my self-care so I knew this period of hard work was just temporary and I had a plan in place to rejuvenate after.
2. Listen to your loneliness.
Both my eBook and online course came from the work I did in graduate school. While getting my master’s degree in music therapy at Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College, the support from my cohort and professors played a huge role when I wrote my thesis. The encouragement and mentoring from my professors made the process less intimidating, and our cohort leaned on each other, went through our frustrations together, and pushed through together.
Once we graduated, I started working on converting my thesis into an eBook, and this time I was writing alone. The loneliness slowly crept up on me, and made me feel anxious, ungrounded, and I had a harder time meeting deadlines when I wasn’t accountable to anyone. Loneliness can be a big contributing factor to burnout, especially for music therapists who are a professional minority. However, when listened to, loneliness comes with some important messages. For me, my loneliness was telling me that I was trying to do too much on my own and that it was time to start asking for support and seeking sources of inspiration. So, I started listening to podcasts on writing to help validate my experiences, and I joined an online writers group. I also hired an editor and allowed other people to take a look at what I was creating. The feeling on loneliness decreased and was replaced with motivation.
3. Self-care is simple, but not always easy.
Self-care is not complicated. It can be as simple as rolling your shoulders back right now, and then taking a deep breath in, and slowly exhaling. Self-care can be as simple as asking for help, taking a nap, walking outside, saying no to a request, meditating for five minutes, or picking up your guitar and playing a song. Although these things are simple, it’s not always easy to remember to do this or to find the time for it. Sometimes it is easier for our actions to default to being busy, to push through without taking a break, or to tell ourselves we will do self-care later. We need to be very careful of this.
I caught myself many times this summer wanting to work one more hour before going to sleep, wanting to work on a project instead of going to a pilates class, or telling myself I’ll do my meditation at the end of the day. And this is a common struggle for many of my coaching clients. Sometimes it’s not easy to say no to ourselves, or to other people. Sometimes it’s not easy to remember to pause and take a breath once in while. But if we can focus on self-care being simple, we can make it easier for ourselves to practice self-care rather than making an excuse not to.
Take a moment to reflect on what self-care looked like for you this summer, and feel free to share.
Each music therapist has their own story to tell of how they entered the profession. And, each music therapist brings a unique combination of skills, talents, strengths, interests, and inspiration to their practice. In this interview, Ellen Whealton shares her remarkable journey into music therapy and how she incorporates wellness, meditation, imagery, and essential oils into her practice.
You have a unique and wonderful combination of having Master’s in Transpersonal Counseling and being a board-certified music therapist. What lead you to pursue a career in music therapy?
Thank you! I’m so appreciative of my degree, which is an MA in Transpersonal Counseling Psychology with an Emphasis in Music Therapy. Through this unique program, I was able to take traditional course-work in psychology and music therapy while simultaneously learning about mindfulness, meditation practices and how to support different states of consciousness. And because this program bridged spirituality with modern psychology and music therapy, it also fit with what lead me to become a music therapist in the first place.
When I was twelve, I woke from a coma to music. It was then that I decided that I would dedicate my life to helping people through music. But it was more than just waking up to music, because something profound happened before I even opened my eyes. Before I woke, I found myself in a place that was full of all-encompassing love. A love that completely surrounded me, blanketed me. I remember it so vividly. I also remember incredibly unique and beautiful music, lights, bright colors and a feeling of absolute connection and completeness.
There were guides with me in this place and they asked me if I’d like to stay with them or return to live my life on Earth. In that moment of choice, I could see the path laid out before me, and realized that there was much more that I could do on Earth. I could also see that the paths of my family members would be shifted if I did not return to Earth. I also realized what a gift I was being given. In a moment of overwhelming gratitude, I made the choice to live my life on Earth and leave that place of love and connection. I felt a surge of appreciation rush through my body and though I knew they expected nothing of me, I made a pledge to my guides. I promised help heal people with music and be grateful for every day.
And after that beautiful moment, everything went dark. However, in the darkness was a colorful musical staff. I could clearly see the notes moving along the staff. (Interestingly, there was a different color for each pitch.) I watched the notes move along the staff, but could not hear the music. In time, the staff dissipated into darkness and I could hear the music very faintly. I tuned into the sound and allowed it to become louder and louder until it filled my mind. That is when I opened my eyes. No one was there with me. Just the music playing at my bedside in an ICU room. I had no memory of anything before my accident but I remembered my near-death experience. It is still one of the most vivid memories I have.
I didn’t even know about music therapy then. I didn’t hear about it until seven years later when I was in college, but when I learned about it I knew that is what I was meant to do.
Can you share your story of how you came to specialize in wellness and music therapy?
It all started when I was studying for my masters at Naropa. When I learned about the incredible benefits that come from meditation and mindfulness and how they can be used with music therapy techniques, I was sold! I started to think more about how thoughts can shape our experience of the world and how emotions can be held in the body. This fascination between the mind/body connection inspired me to pursue training in the Bonny Method of Guided Imagery and Music as well as Holotropic Breathwork. When I graduated and began my career in music therapy, I used mindfulness techniques and much of this training in my work. Over the next few years, I sought out more training. I started collaborating with a very talented somatic psychotherapist, attended workshops and trainings about vibration and the body, and began to review my music and imagery training.
Can you describe some of the wellness practices that support emotional health that you integrate into your music therapy practice?
I absolutely LOVE to incorporate new ideas and approaches in my practice to support emotional health. I always use music and imagery as part of my practice, but about a year ago I started to incorporate essential oils into my work as well. They have been such a great addition to my practice. I have also been collaborating more and more. Because of these collaborations, I’ve been able to incorporate reiki, mandalas, progressive muscle relaxation, somatic experiencing, visualization scripts using color and light, massage, energetic psychology approaches, meditation techniques, and more into my public workshops. Collaborations are fun and really build me up as a practitioner. They’ve also been a great way to build my practice.
How do you incorporate essential oils with music therapy to support your client’s mental health goals?
When it is deemed appropriate, I pair emotional release exercises with Young Living’s essential oils. This can be done many different ways. My favorite way to begin is to ask my client to share an intention for the session. I then suggest several oils based on the emotional and spiritual properties that best match their intention. We reflect on the intention and I lead them through a quick visualization exercise inviting them to imagine the positive manifestation of their intention as they deeply inhale the aroma of the chosen oil. I do this while playing an instrumental drone or low-pitched drum, allowing the vibration and/or rhythm to move them deeper into the experience.
I continue the process of playing along as I lead them through deep breathing exercises and meditation instruction. My goal is to help them move more into that place of introspection and connection. Soon after, I prepare them for the music and imagery experience. During the music and imagery experience, I often invite them to imagine their oil of intention. Imagining that it surrounds them as they journey through the imagery and music.
How do you personally use essential oils for self-care to support your role as a music therapist?
I am constantly teaching myself about essential oils and emotions and have learned that there are oils and blends that help with anything from relaxation to PTSD. It may sound strange, but I stay up late at night reading studies and researching the properties of the oils. I am fascinated with how well they’ve helped me in my personal life so I naturally want to share them with others.
In my personal life, I use Young Living’s essential oils multiple times a day. To explain it best, I’ll walk you through my day. This morning, I woke up to help my three children get ready for school so I was dragging a bit. I diffused cedarwood, tangerine and lemon to create an uplifting atmosphere and wake myself up. (My son has attention issues so the cedarwood is KEY to our diffusing routine.) I then washed my face and used a toner of geranium, melrose and frankincense. I rolled a little lavender on the back of my neck to destress and by that time it was time to see clients and schedule meetings. After sessions, my throat got a little scratchy so I sprayed my throat with my thieves, lemon, peppermint concoction. Tonight, I will clean the space with thieves and will diffuse again for focus during paperwork (and homework time for my kids).
And that’s not even half of it! I put a little frankincense on the roof of my mouth if I get headaches, roll peppermint on the back of my neck and shoulders for minor aches….the list goes on!
What is the most challenging part of your role as a music therapist?
As a music therapist, my biggest challenge it’s probably time management. Between three children, a busy practice and my constant desire to keep learning and growing, I hardly ever slow down. I’ve made it a goal over the past few years to build time in for relaxation and fun. I’ve learned that I need to have these things on the calendar or I will not follow through. I’ve also learned to slow down and use every opportunity to breathe deeply, take in the moment and give GRATITUDE for life.
What is the most rewarding part of your role as a music therapist?
I believe that the most powerful shifts come from within. These shifts are not something that we get from other people or something that we can buy. As a music therapist, I want to provide a musical experience that will help people connect to that place of knowing. That place within their own body and soul where they can find clarity and insight for their journey forward in life. When I’m able to hold space for them, remain present, and witness beautiful moments of connecting to that place, my heart is full. When I listen to them reflect on what they’ve learned about themselves through music and imagery, there are no words for how wonderful it feels. To me, moments like these are the most rewarding part of being a music therapist.
I have also treasured the time that I have spent teaching music therapists about how to incorporate music assisted imagery into their practices. I love sharing my approach and helping others find ways to use it to support their careers. I look forward to hearing about the creative ways people are using music and imagery.
What do you love about music?
Music will always be magical to me. It brought me out of a coma at a young age. It was my lifeline as I recovered from that injury. It lifts me up on a bad day and connects to my core as nothing else can do. It soothes my little one’s tears when words won’t help. It is what all encompassing love feels and sounds like.
For more information on Ellen Whealton, MA, MT-BC, visit wellnessmusictherapy.com
Contact Ellen at email@example.com for more information on Young Living’s essential oils.
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Can you share your story of how you came to specialize in music therapy with older adults?
I didn’t particularly like my practicum placements with older adults as an undergrad, because I didn’t think they were challenging enough for me. I chose an internship with a pretty varied bunch of clinical settings, and my internship director even commented once that I seemed especially comfortable and natural working with older adults, but I still didn’t think that’s what I wanted to do long term.
Then, when I started my business, I cast my net wide, and the first couple of contracts I got were in long-term care and hospice. I’ve been working in those two settings ever since, even after having contracts and private clients in many other settings. I’ve come to recognize that my skills and interests are most developed when it comes to older adults. I truly believe that my calling is in working with older adults. Maybe that’s why it’s always felt relatively easy to me.
What makes an older adult’s relationship to music unique and/or important?
Older adults have, by definition, lived long lives, full of musical experiences and memories. As we know, music is closely connected to memory, emotion, and cultural experiences, so for older adults who are being pulled away from their cultural groups, losing their grip on memories, or having difficult feelings related to all of the changes in their lives, music means familiarity and a way to restore some equilibrium.
What are some of the mental health needs of older adults you provide music therapy for?
A short list of common mental health concerns for older adults would include dementia, depression, anxiety, delirium, complicated grief, and lifelong mental illness (e.g. schizophrenia). However, many older adults are dealing with multiple medical and mental health needs, and it can be difficult for professionals to tease out what exactly is going on. For example, an older adult may no longer speak because of their dementia, and they may be yelling out frequently – is this because they’re confused due to dementia? Or having hallucinations because of delirium caused by a UTI? Or in pain because of bed sores? Part of my job as a music therapist is to help the caregiving team figure out the whole picture for a client.
How do you address these needs with music?
A huge first step is establishing trust and rapport. Confusion and disorientation are common problems for the people I serve, so I spend a lot of time making sure they feel safe and cared for by sharing familiar music.
Loneliness and disconnection are also common facets of depression, dementia, and other mental disorders among older adults, so I’m frequently inviting people to make music with me and with their peers and caregivers in various ways – by singing, playing instruments, or moving to music.
What are some of your favorite music therapy techniques or interventions to facilitate with older adults struggling with depression or anxiety?
For older adults who have cognitive impairments in addition to depression or anxiety, I fall back on sharing familiar music and inviting them to join the music through singing, playing, or moving. Being in the music, especially in a group, can bring joy, connection with others, and an effective redirection from rumination and anxious thought.
When I work with older adults who can do more verbal processing, I still find that songs can hold and communicate more emotion than might come out just from talking. Asking older adults to choose songs, singing or playing them together, then talking about the music or why they chose the song can lead to a rich conversation.
What is the most rewarding part of your role as a music therapist working with older adults?
I see a lot of joy in my work – sheer pleasure at hearing an old song, or playing a beat on the drum, or shaking one’s shoulders to the music. I love it when the people I work with drop the inhibitions they may have had as adults and just PLAY. What a privilege it is to witness that joy and freedom.
What is the most challenging part of your role as a music therapist working with older adults settings? And how do you deal with these challenges?
The biggest challenge has two sides – on the one hand, older adults have complex needs, and it’s not always easy to figure out what is going on with them and how to help. But on the other hand, it seems “they” are always trying to come up with one-size-fits-all solutions and that “they” don’t understand the depth of what we have to offer as music therapists as compared to other music programs. I deal with this by positioning myself as an expert on music with older adults. Music therapists have a depth of knowledge and understanding on that place where aging and music intersect – many people have no idea how much we have to offer! I’ve made it my job to show people what we know and to help them use music effectively in many ways, whether I’m present with them or providing education and guidance from afar.
What do you love about music?
Music brings people together, no matter how old or young, how rich or poor, or how similar or different they are from each other. People doing music together are living life together, even in a difficult time of life. It’s a beautiful thing to witness.
Take deep breath in. Exhale.
The relationship between music and relaxation is one that remains important over our entire lifespan. The ability for music to create calm and provide something soothing to listen to and feel is an experience most of us are familiar with, and a valuable premise in music therapy.
Whether or not a song is relaxing is up to the listener. For me, relaxing music makes me feel like time is slowing down and a sense that everything is going to be okay. The days and hours often move so quickly for me that I often crave slow and steady tempos with legato melodies to refocus on the present moment with ease. Here are a few songs that I turn to for a peaceful break in the day.
What songs or music help you feel relaxed?
I Am Light by India.Arie
F-Stop Blues by Jack Johnson
Aqueous Transmission by Incubus
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Music as a metaphor for life is a common thread in my work as a music therapist. Though I implement this practice with my clients to nurture their growth, I recently had the opportunity to cultivate this concept outside of the clinical setting. This past September, I was invited to lead a 2-hour music therapy experience for a group of psychiatrists.
The Southern California Psychiatric Society has a committee called the Art of Psychiatric Medicine. This committee aims to support the artistic nature of psychiatry, and hosts events with guest artists to promote creativity and community among clinicians. I discussed with Dr. Michelle Furuta, the event’s organizer, how music therapy could support this purpose. We conceptualized a project titled, “Life as A Song: Personal Melodies and Collective Rhythms.”
On a Sunday afternoon, the group gathered to share a creative music experience. The psychiatrists in attendance brought a wide range of clinical experience, knowledge, and musical interests. I felt inspired and honored to be in the presence of these dedicated medical doctors who were taking valuable time for their personal growth, connection, and artistic exploration.
My goal for the day was to use music as a lens to enhance self-reflection and as a bond to enrich positive social connections. We used music as a metaphor to explore individual traits and roles, and to celebrate the collective rhythms present in the group. We spent time with music on a personal level. Then, we created music together.
This seven-minute video captures the essence of our 2-hour session and the product of our creative efforts. Below the video is a brief explanation of the session and process (a full step-by-step guide for the interventions are available in my e-book, The Harmony Handbook, Vol. 1).
Prior to the songwriting experience captured in the video, the session opened by first exploring the elements of music in relation to the self and others. We looked at how our individual lives can be described in musical terms…our voices as melodies, the tempos at which we move, the dynamics we emanate and prefer, the harmonies that exist within and around us, and the rhythms in our everyday lives. These elements exist in unique combinations for all of us. Our group also explored how these elements differed in personal and professional roles.
With this musical language in place, we moved into improvisation, creating music spontaneously. The freedom of expression that improvisation brings allows for a non-verbal social connection and making music for enjoyment, with openness, cooperation, and fluidity. Here, the elements of music exist in pure form, and this allowed the group a break from words before getting into songwriting.
I chose the song “Times Like These” to facilitate a songwriting experience because of its universal themes, adaptability, and form. This song is structured so well for the encouragement of songwriting to describe oneself and reflect on the present moment. Originally written and performed by the band Foo Fighters, this song is also versatile and can be played as a rock or folk song, and I have even seen adolescents turn this song into hip-hop. Our group played the original version together to get a feel for the melody and rhythm, and then each person was encouraged to write his or her own lyrics to the song.
With these new lyrics, we collectively created a group song that represented each individual and the group as a whole. As seen in the video, each person chose a part of a verse they wrote, and together we wrote a group chorus. With this, we created our own version of the song that allowed each person’s voice to be heard, and for the group to unify. Their song flowed with honesty, vision, and courage, and the support and cohesiveness of the process was powerful to witness and share.
I admired each person’s willingness to reveal their creative side, as the nature of music requires a certain level of audacity, especially in the presence of peers or colleagues. This was also out of my comfort zone, and allowed growth for me as a clinician. Though I have worked with thousands of psychiatric patients over the years, to work with their doctors was new for me. In the end, I was left with a strong sense of gratitude and validation that music therapy may not only be recognized in psychiatry, but that there are clinicians also willing to take a step in.
This day was a compelling reminder that music is not only therapeutic and beneficial for those we as practitioners define as clients. For all of us, practitioners included, music is a catalyst that awakens an awareness of who we are and why we do what we do. Music connects us to each other and to ourselves.